Two Faced

damnit...

so i love two chicks...

one of them i love more than ive ever loved anyone, and doesnt want to be with me

the other i also love, and she seems like she is a good fit with me but.... well she has changed her mind about us a few times already... and in all honesty... i dont think it will work now. there are times when i kinda hope it doesnt... but thats only when i miss carli....

i dont think its fair to riley to go into a relationship probably... but right now i dont care....
im not with her yet... and we will take things slowly... if my outlook doesnt improve than i doubt we will be together..........

i would think im an asshole for leading her on... i prolly should feel like that but... everything i said to her i meant...


and as for carla... well...


she's gone.... i think i finally fucked up bad enough to scare her off.....


i dont believe some people are meant to be alone....

but maybe people are better off without me



im tired.. and lonely....


and maybe... just one more time... id like it if someone told me they loved me, and i could believe that they meant that they would forever.... or at least... til the end



i wish everyone would just hate me... at least im used to that

so very very bored

whee im hanging out at college and i am bored out of my fucking skull....
and no one is online to talk, which sucks doubly as i had the best idea EVER

Julius Wayne: Shakespear's Julius Ceasar with a heaping dose of Batman

come on dont look at me like that... it writes itself...

the villains coming to his chamber and attacking him and the ensuing action scene
Joker: At the end of this night my king, we shall see how has the last laugh.
Batman: YOU ARE NAUGHT BUT A ROGUE's GALLERY
*a dagger descends into his back, bruce turns and slashes, cutting two face badly*
Batman: et tu, harvey?

Alfred walking up to give the speech after Bruce's death

I HAVE COME TO BURY THE BATMAN
NOT TO PRAISE HIM
THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVE ON AFTER THEM
THE GOOD LAY WITH THEM IN THE GROUND
HE WAS VENGEANCE...
HE WAS THE NIGHT...
HE WAS BATMAN
and then he fucking hurls a batarang at two face

...

shut the fuck up its amazing....

anyways....

so i felt like i am rebounding off of my rebound but as a new friend reminded me
i was bound and then rebound but now im free...

damn her mastery of the written word...

anyway so im trying to not be too emo, but when i think or talk to riley things dont go well... i get vindictive..... and mean... so essentially i become rather feminine...

so i had a fight with the parental units over how much cash they owe me... in the end it ended with my mother vowing to never again borrow money from me and to charge me rent...

im going to demand a contract so they cant raise it and i will truely not loan em anything else...

i mean fuck im always willing to lend a helping hand once in awhile but its not my fault they fucked up their taxes so badly that they cant afford to live on their insane income...

if i had any other place where i could live... i would

but theres nowhere down here...

and there no place for me up north either....

which will be awesome... all my friends are leaving...

which will leave me alone down here with only riley and carli left....


i havent hit rock bottom yet... but i dont think its that far....